Someone asked me today to tell them something good about my life. They wanted to hear all the good stuff happening, anything. I blanked.
At first. I had just then come from a frustrating (trying not to burst into tears while in public) visit at the Doc’s and my view was pretty dim. Kind of a “so, this is it huh?” Realizing the levels of pain are going to be standard operating procedure and that the sources of my pain (EDS, Thalassemia and CRPS) are what they are. They’re here to stay and with them so will be new struggles and undoubtedly be new and higher levels of pain.
It’s startling how fast the mind works. Between the moment I blanked and the next, I somehow rerouted a lifetime’s worth of memories that could have ever made me smile, and the people that are always there to give their selves to me. And bunnies. Bunnies Bunnies Bunnies.
I never got a chance to tell her any of this good stuff about my life because by the time it was my moment the conversation had moved on. But I kept it going in my head. I think I’ll keep it going.