Mrs. Two Lumps

I popped my left hip out last night.  I was walking, from the kitchen to the living room.  It wasn’t one of those Ministry of Silly Walks walks either.  Well, maybe after my hip popped.  It went out, then in, which is preferred.  I have had my right hip stuck in the partially in/partially out position before.  Don’t recommend that.   In retrospect what seems silly to me (not haha silly but bordering on absurd) is that I am now at risk of dislocating simply while I ambulate.  I am careful when I get off the couch, get out of bed, get out of cars, roll over in bed, get out of the shower, go up and down stairs and on and on.  I don’t like it when people walk behind me when I am in a group.  I get severely nervous.  I’ve been bumped too many times and then bam, knee is out.  Plus I’m slow and I don’t want to hold up anyone and the thought of them watching me gimp from behind is hella embarrassing.

When I was younger, we are talking elementary and middle school age, I wasn’t as embarrassed about being so freakish.  I took to it.  Took advantage of it.  Friends would ask me to do tricks:  Jump chinese splits, clasp my hands behind my back and while keeping them clasped bring them over my head to the front of my body, fold my fingers over each other and bend my wrists back and forward, stand with my face against the wall then do a back-bend bringing my head between my feet, lie on my stomach and bring my feet over my head and rest them in front of my face (this last one I would do while watching TV.)  I knew I was different and by volunteering to do these tricks I saved myself from being teased when all of a sudden I would go missing from school for an EDS related illness or I would break a bone from something so simple as tripping.

Now that I think on it, I guess I have my own silly walk.  Priory of Preposterous Promenades?  Cloister of Wacky Shufflers?  The thing is for me to remember to laugh at myself, and the ridiculousness of it all.




silly walks

3 thoughts on “Mrs. Two Lumps

  1. Love how you embrace the fact that you are different. I grew up as a military brat and of all the communities I lived in, I was the only kid who could do forward somersaults. From 2nd grade to high school, I was the kid who just passed out cold a couple of times a year.
    I was lucky though because I did not really feel EDS pain daily until my mid forties and now I am in my mid fifties and it is getting harder and trickier.
    I am the same about walking around other people and especially about people behind me. I hate it when my ankle rolls and I know someone just watched it happen. I wonder if they think I am trying to do some slapstick comedy. It is always the craziest thing because an instant prior I was just walking along and then, poof, down on the ground. EDS is such a nasty little trickster! I always look back on those times I have fallen due to an ankle and am amazed at how quickly I can get back up. Today, all I did was get out of bed and my ankle feels sprained. Wonder if it just this morning is responding to a fall from months ago?
    Pretty annoying when it just smacks one out of the blue. Nasty little trickster!

    Liked by 1 person

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